“We all work as a team now”

Next up in our series about autism is Jo Abi from 9Honey/ Nine Digital. Jo Abi’s son, Giovanni, was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder when he was seven. Three years later, she has learnt to work with Giovanni’s needs and says she is now “a better mum” to all her children (she has another son and daughter). Here’s what she had to say about her experience as a mother with a child who has autism:

1. Tell me a little bit about life with a child who has been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Giovanni, 10, was diagnosed with ASD when he was seven, although I knew he was on the spectrum from the age of four. So many people told me I was being silly, that he was fine. Well, he was fine. My gorgeous little boy. But I wanted to be able to get him everything he needed to have a fabulous life.

2. Are there any hardships?

It was expensive to treat before the National Disability Insurance Scheme so having that is a huge relief. Also, it was hard to know what he wanted and needed and difficult on his brother and sister if we had to go home due to a meltdown. But we all work as a team now. Giovanni does his best not to meltdown and Philip, 13, and Caterina, eight do their best not to get upset if we have to go home.

3. Of course there are so many positives too. What are they?

Well he is just the cutest, most amazing little man. He is so funny. And I love how he takes everything so literally. But the best thing about Giovanni is he has made me a better mum to all of my kids. Everything he needs benefits them as well. I don’t yell at them or get angry, we talk through all of their decisions and feelings. It’s made motherhood more enjoyable and made us all much closer. Plus my kids hardly every fight. It’s a brilliant dynamic.

4. Do you have a favourite moment that you’d like to share?

There are so many but one that I loved was recently when Giovanni told me he’d be in the bathroom washing his hands because his dad told him to wash his hands for four hours because they were so dirty. So he went to do just that. I explained it was a joke and we both laughed. Too cute.

5. Was there a moment in your life when you realised you really needed to stand up for those with autism and raise awareness about autism? What was it?

Yes it was when Giovanni was still in a mainstream school and had just started Occupational Therapy. I was annoyed at the fact all the intervention was for Giovanni, so he could fit in. I wanted the world to meet him half way. We are all different. We all exist. So we all deserve to be accepted for who we are, exactly as we are.

6. Do you think there is still a stigma towards people with autism? Why/why not?

Yes although it is lessening. Now the stigma has gone from them being outcasts to people demanding to know what his ‘gift’ is. Obviously he is a genius because he has autism. I just explain that he’s just an ordinary, non-genius child with autism and that’s okay!

7. Do you think this will change?

Yes I do think it will change. It already is. But it won’t ever truly change until formal education learns how to teach children differently, in a variety of ways, at the same time, instead of making them act the same, think the same, dress the same and come up with all of the same answers.

8. Is there anything else you’d like to say?

The best thing about having a child with autism is the other kids I’ve met and the parent friends I’ve made. They are my heroes, all of them. I feel blessed to be a part of such an amazing group of people.